Actress Gabourey Sidibe is depressed after making a BIG FAT IMPACT as “Precious.” The actress said no one really cares about the show about the lady with cancer and no movie roles have called for someone who weighs enough to be considered a heart attack risk. Insiders say even A list actors like Morgan Freeman, Samuel L. Jackson, Denzell Washington, and Brad Pitt refuse to work with Gabourey because “she fucking stinks like a fat mothefucker does” Samuel Jakcson said. Gabourey is rumored to be using food to cope with her depression which should soon give TLC a new “Half Ton” show to be called “Half Ton Celebrity.”
I was on a phone conversation with my sister last night in which she was fully aware of the many jokes I have made about the actress Gabourey Sidibe, who for the few that do not know is the north of 400 lb actress that played Precious. I have made jokes about Gabourey eating Golden Globes and Oscars to her vagina housing thousands of Haitian and Chilean refugees to playing Fatz, the pianist for Showbiz pizza that happens to be a gorilla. I’ve made these jokes here at jfzliveshere.com(use the search box on right hand side to find all the past articles) and on the radio which brings me to my point.
My sister was discussing where Howard Stern is taken heavy criticism for discussing Gabourey Sidibe’s weight. Now, when I read all this stuff and think about it. Jesus Christ people, have you seen her???? She’s is a fat ass. Overly fat. Needs to quit eating fat. Needs to find a treadmill fat. Needs to lose weight or die fat. Needs to consider gastric bypass fat. Period. Do you think she is unaware that she is fat? No, she discusses it and people continue to act like she is not fat and that she is “beautiful.” Yes, I have heard multiple people refer to her as “beautiful” but I sure as hell don’t see guys lining up to tap that fat beautiful ass. Maybe she is beautiful on the inside, but on the outside Gabby needs to get with it or she’s going to die. Look at her and then look at Celebrity Fit Club. No one even comes close and those experts will tell you that they are FAT. What Gabourey needs is to be on A & E or is it TLC and a new series titled “Half Ton Black Ass.” That doctor doesn’t sugarcoat the facts. Lose weight or die. No one calls up that show ripping him to shreds for saving these people’s lives. No 25 year old needs to be that overweight and not care about doing anything about it.
And Oprah Winfrey. She makes me sick. She always plays the racial card so well. So well that she flies under the radar by giving out cars to her white audience so no one ever calls her out on it. Well, here I go. This is why I think Oprah plays the race card. She will attack the likes of Howard Stern for being too shocking and making horrible, disgusting, nasty content but evidently never watches the stand up shows her babies perform such as Jamie Foxx and Chris Rock. She never mentions their content and has them on her show every time she has a chance. I love both Jamie Foxx and Chris Rock as comics but Oprah always looks the other way when it’s a famous black entertainer. Further instances is her anger was her blacklisting of David Letterman over years and years and years. She refused to allow the entertainer on her show because she was not a fan of him making jokes about her weight. I think she should have had him on and thank him for motivating her fat ass to get with it although maybe she should ask him to always joke about her weight so she can keep it off for good. Yes, Oprah has a lot of white guests on and helps out white people but she will always play favorites to fellow blacks. To me, that is racial. I also believ
Gabourey Sidibe, straight out of a hospitalization for consuming 6 metal Oscar awards of the Academy Award winners, is still on fire in Hollywood and has landed a dream role. Gabourey will be casted as Fatz, the lovable gorilla that plays the piano for Showbiz Pizza. Gabourey on her new role “I get to eat pizza the entire movie. I get to eat pizza the entire time we film. They said they are going to feed me pizzas throughout the process. Free pizza. Lot of pizza.” The movie which will feature all of your lovable Showbiz characters including Billy Bob, Mitzi, Dook, and Looney Bird and will hit theaters sometime in 2011.
Gabourey Sidibe wants to win the Oscar for Best Actress In A Leading Role because she really wants to “see what it tastes like. I hope it tastes like ham,” the 26 year old actress says with enthusiasm.” Gabourey was hospitalized after the Golden Globes ceremony for devouring 4 Golden Globes even though she was repeatedly warned that the awards were non edible. Gabourey, who’s enourmous vagina recently has housed thousands of Haitian and Chilean refugees is “ready to feed” according to sources and is eager to attend the Oscars. The 26 year old actress is nominated for Best Actress In A Leading Role for her role as Precious. Hopefully, for the sake of everyone attending, Gabourey will win the award. No one looks forward to seeing what a hungry Gabourey is capable of. Whether or not she plans to eat the award before or after her acceptance speech is a well kept secret.
Fresh off her role as Precious, Gabourey Sidibe has agreed to take over the role of Grimace in McDonald’s commericals. The deal was struck with McDonald’s luring the actress with unlimited Big Macs while she plays the character until 2015.
Precious star Gabourey Sidibe was hospitalized after eating one to three Golden Globes after last night’s Golden Globe Awards. The actress was rushed to the hospital after complaining at an after party that “I think I might have eaten a Golden Globe or two.” Sources close to the star said that she is stable condition and is expected to fully recover. Mo’Nique is set to star in the TLC’s Half Ton Ass this Fall.