Kari Ann Peniche has finally won and actually accomplished something since being stripped of her title of Miss Teen USA for posing nude in Playboy by becoming Miss Meth USA 2010 tonight at the Miss Meth USA contest hosted by Charlie Sheen. Miss Peniche, who recently showed her ass multiple times on Celebrity Rehab 3/Sober House and forced the entire audience of viewers to come to terms with the fact they really didn’t give a shit whether this bitch lived or died of drugs, was on fire at the Miss Meth USA pageant. In the lack of talent competition, Peniche sang and earned multiple points for not only horribly singing a song, but picked a tune by ex fiancee and fellow loser and suckfest Aaron Carter. Appearing to be meth’d out of her mind further sealed the crown for her as she swept, mopped, dusted, and completely cleaned a kitchen in 15 minutes in the Cleaning Competition. I think I speak for millions of Celebrity Rehab fans, when I say I hope this is the last we ever see or hear about this spoiled, bipolar, selfish, immature, bitchy, shitty ass attitude, intolerable cunt.
*This and all other articles are of course “fake news” and are parodying or satire of current events of public figures, etc.