Top 10 Signs You Know It’s Tournament Week
Top 10 Signs You Know It’s Tournament Week
by Jordan Zeh
10- You run into Tiger at Mae Video.
9-Some sucky ass band “rocks for dough.”
8-The downtown strippers are suddenly fuckable and prefer coke rather than meth.
7-You have a cocky, almost arrogant attitude about being from Augusta—for an entire week—and for one week only.
6-Charles Howell III asks to borrow your badges.
5-People actually buy Augusta Magazine.
4-Wholelife Ministries forces thousands to litter.
3-You blow all of your practice round ticket money on “blow.”
2-Lots of men are dressesd up like…faggots!
AND THE TOP SIGN YOU KNOW IT’S TOURNAMENT WEEK
VEEJAY PATEL HAS RENTED OUT HIS HOME TO VEEJAY SINGH!
This years list is slightly modified as I started this tradition 4 years ago and modify every year. Number 10 last year was “You ride home from the spot with John Daly,” which no longer applies because The Spot is closed(not because Daly isn’t a drunk)….Number 9 was “Building on a 25 year old tradition, you decided not to go see Hootie and The Blowfish,” but I must confess that I am a little disappointed—-mainly because the replaced them with The Goo Goo Dolls but hey—-AT LEAST IT ISN’T CHEAP TRICK!!!! HAHA Other than that, I replaced “queers” with “faggots” on Number 2 just because “faggots” is a fav word right now. So, there you go. Haha….NOW, IT’S YOUR TURN. SIMPLY COMMENT YOUR OWN TOP TEN SIGN YOU THINK IT’S MASTERS WEEK RIGHT BELOW…..
